There is this cute little book entitled Life’s Little Instruction Book and it is a good one. Sold many copies. But what intrigued me was a guy named Charles Sherwood Dane who came out with an article entitled: Life’s Little Destruction Book.”. And I want to share this with you. But I will add some comments and revise it a little to fit our local context.
In essence, what the article is saying that these are the things you can do in order to destroy your life:
- Take the hotel towels home.
- Pay tolls with P1,000.00 bills.
- Practice the art of limp handshakes and let people shaking your hands feel like they are holding on to a dead fish.
- Tell the ending of movies.
- Give little kids clothes for their birthdays.
- Leave the toilet seat up.
- Take more than 10 items to the express checkout lane.
- Turn on your bright for oncoming traffic.
- Finish other people’s crossword puzzles.
- Use the last square of toilet paper.
- Tailgate the elderly.
- Drum your fingers during other people’s presentations.
- Blow out other people’s birthday candles.
- Don’t leave a message at the beep.
- Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot.
- Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways.
- Eat produce at the market; don’t buy it.
- When giving directions, leave out a turn or two.
- Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food wrappings and those sorts of things.
- Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April.
- Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures.
- See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window.
- Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations.
- Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
- Go up the down escalator.
- Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines.
- Snap your gum.
- Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you’re at it, leave the cap off.
- Open umbrellas in crowded hallways.
- Announce when you’re going to the bathroom.
- Read over other people’s shoulders on the bus.
- When it says, “Reserved Parking”, this means you.
- Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want.
- Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower.
- Chew other people’s pencils.
- Let doors slam behind you — in other people’s faces.
- Tell teenagers how things were in your day.
- Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation.
- Pee in the swimming pool.
- Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in.
- Wear large hats during the movies.
- Race the old woman for the last bus seat.
- Draw mustaches on posters.
- Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you.
- Touch strangers.
- Bite your dentist’s finger.
- Let off gas in cramped places.
- Leave lipstick prints on people’s cheeks and foreheads.
- Don’t stand during hymns and anthems.
- Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa.
- Leave pages in the copier.
- Be “in conference” all the time.
- Buy it, wear it, return it.
- Tell people they have bad breath.
- Eat out with friends and “forget” your wallet.
- Put everyone on speakerphone.
- Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you.
- Rain on someone’s parade.
- Make scary faces at babies.
- Flirt with a friend’s spouse.
There’s plenty more but we don’t have time.
Here’s the thing. There is a big difference between education and culture. Some people are educated but they do not have culture.
This is why you need to be kind to bacteria. To many people I know…they are the only kind of culture they have.
Learn to be tactful…sensitive and kind.
But the best way to attract people is to be Christ-like. Read His story in the Bible.
He showed love all the time. And that’s the reason why it’s been many years now…and there are still so many who are attracted to Him. Include me in the list.
God bless you.
 TAKEN FROM “LIFE’S LITTLE DESTRUCTION BOOK” BY CHARLES SHERWOOD DANE