October 19, 2013


Here we go again. Another depressed young person seeking for my advice through FB. She did not do well in school and parents keep on telling her that she is hopeless and comparing her to siblings who are “smarter” and “better.”
Have you ever been in this condition? How did you get through it? Help share ideas as I am planning to run some tips and ideas on practical parenting. Do tell me if this interests you as well. thanks

This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. edem aquino

    Dear Mr. Francis:

    I have 4 kids and it’s really a tough job raising them (seriously), but despite challenges, it becomes very fulfilling. And when you see them grow to become disciplined, respectful and responsible individuals, then you can say…. I have raised them well .

    I guess, the most critical in parenting is understanding them and respecting their individualities without sacrificing discipline by setting limits for your child and sticking to them –to my mind, it is a proven way to inspire cooperation, kindness and good manners.

    1. Francis Kong

      so true Edem. And we as parents simply need to learn and improve ourselves on parenting skills as well.

  2. Marivic C. Faicol

    Hi Francis! I have seen this countless times among my students—–parents who set such high expectations, harshly comparing and pitting their kids against each other, etc. I believe that many parents are not aware of the devastating effects of their actions on the children. I hope that you will push through with your plan of holding a parenting seminar on this.

    1. Francis Kong

      Thank you Marivic. I will seriously consider doing this.

  3. Lisa

    As a teacher I teach my students a different barometer of what constitutes success. It’s not just high grades and getting the best job. It’s being a better human being. Even if parents tend to compare children, if students are aware that there is a different barometer of being successful or excellent, they wouldn’t get affected no matter how much they are constantly compared.Teachers play that crucial role of freeing children from the trappings of negative parenting. We are the second parents.Depressed children needs someone who will affirm them. If they couldn’t get it home, at least in school etc.

  4. Lisa

    In fact when i was younger, my parents kept comparing me to my siblings, but I never got affected because I have teachers who praise me and inspire me. Now I am doing the same thing for my students.

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