A Secretary’s Rules for Her Boss

May 14, 2009

One time the boss became upset and talked to his secretary.

Boss says: Every time I want you, you’re on the phone, Miss Gonzales!

Secretary says: They were all business calls, sir.

“Oh really?” says the boss. “Well, in the future don’t address my clients as darling.”…. oops!

In another office the boss was giving the secretary some very important instructions.

Boss: If Mr. Santos comes into the office today, tell him I’m out.

Secretary: Yes, sir, anything else?

Boss: Yes. And don’t look too busy when he shows up or he’ll know you’re lying.

Secretaries. How can bosses and leaders like me survive our career without them?

It is to my loss that I will miss speaking in this year’s National Convention of the Philippine Associations of Secretaries. Hands tied due to other commitments. But I distinctly remember getting to meet so many lovely people when I spoke to the same group some years ago. Many of them have become my friends to this day. Interesting personalities. All faithful in protecting their bosses. Overworked, underpaid? Maybe but one thing is obvious. Many of them are not given enough credit and recognition for their crucial roles in the work place. Despite this they wear a smile on their face and carry a grim determination in their heart to make their bosses succeed, secretaries are the heroes in the work place.

Here’s a piece of material I got from the Internet entitled: “Rules Of Work.” Maybe after listening to this the bosses will understand their secretaries just a little bit better.

Here are the rules:

  1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
  2. If it is really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it is going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.
  3. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
  4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, do not open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
  5. If you give me more than one job to do, do not tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
  6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
  7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
  8. If you do not like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
  9. If you have special instructions for a job, do not write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
  10. Never introduce me to the people you are with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
  11. Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager’s hell.
  12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it is nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
  13. Wait until my yearly review and then tell me what my goals should have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I am not here for the money anyway.[1]

Ouch! Hits me too.

Maybe from now on bosses like you and me just have to pay a little bit more attention to recognizing the fantastic work and contributions of our secretaries. Besides, we can’t even operate our fax machines without them. Be good to them and they will be good to you.

[1] Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Stephanie Tan

    Hahaha! Very funny indeed.

  2. Lelet Castro


  3. Vanes

    This is a good one. I can also relate this to other people. I need to be sensitive for every opportunity of encouragement to others. Thanks..

  4. MJ

    Heehehe . . .Thats really a funny thing about bosses, I’ve got a boss like that before and its really annoying.

  5. Sweety Jane G. Bello

    Hi Sir Francis,

    yup it’s true…….. I admire our secretaries in our office doing great job for the bosses but receive little recognition…
    God bless the work of your hands.

  6. Jhade

    Wow! . .is that for real?
    Well,let me find out
    jst hired to be a secretary

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