On-line All The Time
1,912 views
Where do young people get their news these days? The Internet. What about research, where do they go? Do they go to libraries? Are you kidding? They go to Wikipedia and it’s all in the Internet.
There was a time when doing business means leaving your brochures with the prospect but today, they ask you: “Where is your web site so I can take a look at the products you are selling?” I feel uneasy every time I leave the house and forget to bring my cell phone with me. Today it’s the same familiar feeling I have in my guts every time I go somewhere and cannot find any WI-FI or Access to the Internet. Popular speaker Dr. Dennis Waitley says: “If you are not on-line, then you will be on the food line.” And somehow this is true. But is the Internet taking over our life? Has the Internet moved us away from quality living? Well….let’s see. Addicts and junkies say, “I am not addicted…I could quit anytime.” I hear the same words coming from people whose laptop are connected to the Net all the time. “I am not addicted to the Internet, I can quit anytime.”
Court Humor
1,620 views
I laughed so hard when I came across this material as they are (supposedly) things people actually said in court. I hope you will enjoy this as much as I did. Enjoy!
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to the deposition notice I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Mommy’s Choice
1,491 views
Manny is almost 29 years old, his friends have already gotten married, and Manny just dates and dates.
Finally a friend asks him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"
"No," Manny replies. "I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my Mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"
"Listen," his friend suggests, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?"
Many weeks go by and again Manny and his friend get together. "So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?"
Manny shrugs his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became fast friends."
So do I owe you a Mazel Tov? "Are you and this girl engaged, yet?"
"I'm afraid not, my Father can't stand her!"
Astounding
1,173 views
A man walking along the road saw an Indian lying with his ear to the ground. He went over and listened. The Indian said, "Large wheels, Ford pickup truck, green color, man driving with large police dog next to him, Colorado license plate and traveling about 75 miles per hour."
The man was astounded. "You mean you can tell all that just by listening with your ear to the ground?" he asked.
"Ear to the ground, nothing," said the Indian. "That truck just ran over me."
Cannibals in the Office?
1,421 views
Here is a material I got from the Internet. Makes you think real hard as to who are the more important people in the work place. Enjoy this piece.
A big corporation recently hired several cannibals. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees." The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads no.
After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?" A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Managers and no one noticed anything, but nooooo, you had to go and eat someone they would really miss !!
How Far Away?
1,034 views
As the boss was leaving the office to play golf, he instructed his secretary to tell all callers that he was away from his desk.
Shortly after he left, a member of his foursome called to find out which course they were playing that day. The loyal girl would only reply that her boss was away from his desk.
"Just tell me," the golfer persisted, "is he ten kilomiles away from his desk, twenty kilomiles away from his desk, or thirty kilomiles away from his desk?"